Take a little child onto your lap and consider -- "Who is this child?" According to many educators, scientists, and even mothers, she is an accident of nature, a blank slate for you to write upon, an empty vessel for you to fill, a thing for you to mold according to your wishes, a possession that reflects upon you, a means to the inflation or deflation of your ego and pleasure, or a potential person to be trained to master an array of data and techniques that will guarantee her future "success".
OR, is this child in your arms something completely different than all that? This child is a person, created by God, in His image, with purpose and mystery, and loved before he was ever laid in your arms. He is an individual, separate from you, valuable in his own right, who is not yet mature, but who is complete, whole, with gifts and strengths that will surprise you. This child is more than what you can measure, or analyze, or label, or grade. And in some ways you are tasked to become like him.
When I first heard the phrase, 'the child is a person,' I thought, "Well, of course they are." But over time, my eyes have been opened to the many ways I did not really see my child as a person, but as someone I could manipulate to my own convenience, "train" in much the same manner as I would a dog, and put through "systems" that 'guaranteed' attractive outcomes (for example, fool-proof 3-step discipline schemes, educational gimmicks, miracle learning toys, special sports programs).
But what does this person require? Likely not another achievement program, more bits of random information, a stressed and boring life of worksheets, performance orientation, hurry, mind-dulling TV and video games (so that we can go deal with our stress), "quick, get to practice", "we don't have time", "I told you we couldn't", "you didn't make the cut-off"...
No, a person requires healthy nourishment (for the body and for the mind), interests, imagination, relational joy, deep thinking about real things, connection with their Creator and creation, story, spontaneity, tenderness and understanding, example, touch, hope, rest, laughter together (at the subtle ironies in life, not at some one's expense), a mature friend, a sense of "it is good to be me, here with you," real life, abundant life, time.
Your child is a person, endowed already with a rich inheritance from God which you are privileged to begin to unfold for her. Today, let us "become as a little child", humble ourselves and forgo the self-importance of our many tasks. Let us cuddle up to read a really good story together, play charades, watch the snow melt into rivulets, and ask questions expecting to learn, rather than having all the answers.
What would life be like if it really were "good to be me, here with you"? ...not only if you DO the things I approve of, or ACCOMPLISH that which I value, but if you just BE you? What if a quiet sense of wonder and joy and thankfulness to God could creep back into our homes, because we see Him for the great I AM that He is, and others for the persons God made them to be?
That bit of unease, of missing the mark, that you and I feel in the gut, just tells how far we have strayed from that for which we were created.
