Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Striving or Abiding

This Thanksgiving I went home.  I spent time with my 89 year old mother, who continues to 'say goodbye' to friends and abilities and pleasures.  I spent time with someone precious to me who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, and is considering all that may entail.  I saw friends who are letting go of children as they leave for college, and others who are grappling with financial losses.  It dawned on me that I am entering a time in life when the "facade" of ever climbing and achieving is beginning to crack and crumble, and those whose well-being is placed in "success" are being disappointed.

And I have a choice to make:  I can strive (ever harder).  Or I can abide.

Striving is, of course, the most natural thing to do, and the most 'American':  "Go for it."  "Just do it."  "Be all you can be."  "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps."  It actually embodies much of what I value and love about my country, my upbringing, my life.  I came of age with Ronald Reagan in the White House, prosperity abounding, the Soviet Union falling, real estate prices soaring, grand opportunities for young women.  I grabbed the brass ring whenever I could -- an MBA, a mountain of moguls, a Capitol Hill career.  But I'm beginning to see cracks in the foundation of the shining edifice of achievement.   Inevitably must come the "letting go" of all that I can build, buy, attain, achieve, as it is swallowed up -- finally, by death itself.

All this sounds a bit depressing until I lay down my "striving" glasses and put on "abiding" ones. If I change my goal to abiding -- with Jesus Christ, and with others -- then I will ultimately gain fullness and real relationship rather than loss.  Even death itself will only bring me face to face with the object of my supreme affection.  Only in abiding rather than in striving do these passages begin to make sense:
  • "...make it your ambition to lead a quiet life."  1 Thes. 4:11
  • “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in youyou will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."  John 15:5
  • "that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you." John 17: 21
My dictionary defines 'abide' as to "continue without fading or being lost.  Live, dwell."  What would  abiding look like in my life? 
  • Living with Christ, where he is invited to dwell in and transform my thoughts, anxieties, etc.
  • Time with Jesus, to gain His heart, His perspective, His direction for my day and my life.
  • Walking 'in step' with the Spirit - not ahead, not behind.
  • Actions done out of 'glad surrender' to Christ, dependent on Him, with His energy behind it.
  • Unhurried time with family and friends, where it is "good to be me, here with you." 
  • Forgoing of my agenda; seeking of His.  
  • Trust in Jesus for fulfillment and results, rather than in myself.
  • Love and value of others as persons rather than seeing them as a means to achieving my goals.
  • More romance with my husband, as 'one flesh' means abiding with him.
  • Worship, humility, vulnerability.
And, what lies/fears must be blown away about abiding?  
  • That I will become lazy, get nothing done, and that my needs will not be met.  
  • That God is not fully real, involved, good, trustworthy, powerful or "for" me.
  • That if I'm not stressed out, I'm not doing enough.
  • That others will think poorly of me for not doing enough.
  • That I "am" what I "do", vs. that I "am" a fully accepted and loved child of God. 
The truth:  Christ was perfectly loved by and one with the Father.  He got everything done that the Father sent him to do.  It did not look particularly "successful" from a human perspective -- no earthly throne, riches, sustained popularity, but instead death on a cross, with all His followers scattered.  He simply abided and obeyed:  "The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.  Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me."  Through the cross and Christ's deep impact on a relatively small group of people, God's will was accomplished and the world was turned upside down.  Small was big.  Death was overcome by Life.  

And this same Jesus who is gracious, loving, and on my side, is my model and my savior who "pulls me up into the freedom of grace."*

"Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."  Math. 10:39

Lord, let me lose my "striving" life by abiding in you.  In abiding with you, Lord, I receive Your life, real life, abundant life, life that overflows to others, life which does not end.  


*Thank you for this phrase, Lorna Armani.